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I remember once taking a course, probably in High School, where I struggled a lot to understand what the instructor was teaching. I became anxious as exams approached, and needed to make a quick decision to pass the exams. So I memorized the notes the man had dictated to us in class which, fortunately, was just a few pages. In the exams, I simply reproduced his entire notes for him!

I was surprised when the results came and I had the highest mark possible! That has been the only essay type exam in which I performed such a feat, in my entire life! I was happy at the time to have passed the exam, but surprised that the instructor rewarded me for such gross display of  incomprehension! I later realized his actions could be the result of what psychologists call, “Perceived Similarity” which, studies show, has more influence on liking, than its twin called “Actual Similarity”.

Researchers, Adam Hampton, Amanda Fisher Boyd, and Susan Sprecher examined the reasons why similarity might increase liking, and published it in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. They proposed several different reasons.

First was “Consensual validation”, which says meeting people who share our attitudes makes us feel more confident in our own attitudes about the world. If you love a certain type of music, for example, meeting a fellow who loves the same type of music shows you that loving that type of music is OK, and maybe even a virtue!  

Second was “Cognitive evaluation”which focuses on how we form impressions of other people by generalizing from the information we have. So we learn that a person has something in common with us, and that makes us feel positively about that person, because we feel positively about ourselves. We then assume that the other person, like us, has other positive characteristics.

Third was “Certainty of being liked” where we assume that someone who has a lot in common with us is more likely to like us. And in turn, we are more likely to like people if we think they like us.

Fourth was “Fun and enjoyable interactions” which opines that it is just more fun to hang out with someone when you have a lot in common.

Fifth was “Self-expansion opportunity”. According to self-expansion theory, one benefit of relationships is that we can gain new knowledge and experiences by spending time with someone else. Even though a dissimilar person would be more likely to actually provide new knowledge and experiences, research has shown that people are more likely to see self-expansion opportunities when interacting with someone who is similar, rather than dissimilar, to them. 

The above then explained why my instructor rewarded me so well for reproducing his own text in the exams; and why we generally tend to like people who look or act like us. I have observed this in all kinds of relationships — from casual to marital, and even business relationships.

This is the reason I get very surprised when I hear people pray. Jesus was very specific about how we should pray, and actually gave us a sample.

READ Matthew 6:5-14

“And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.

“Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.  In this manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:5-14)

Jesus took a break in the middle of His epic “Sermon On The Mount,” to teach His disciples how to pray. He repeated a similar prayer in Luke 11:2-4, when His disciples asked Him to teach them to pray.

In the text above, Jesus cautioned us about a couple of things: First, is praying to please or impress people around, and second is praying with vain repetitions. Jesus made it clear that when you pray to please people, you don’t get any reward from God; because you already have your reward, probably from the human acclamation and praise you sought to elicit. Secondly, He said it is the heathen (or pagans) that pray with vain repetitions; and that God, because He is Supreme and above and beyond any other god, is omniscient — that is He is “all-knowing”– and already knows what we need before we even ask Him. I believe it is very offensive to God when we treat Him like he is a blind, deaf, powerless and ignorant god made of stone, wood or clay!

On the other hand, I believe Jesus smiles when we pray like Him, in simple, straight-forward and reverential language.

I break “The Lord’s Prayer” into six parts: Acknowledging God as the Holy Father, praying for God’s kingdom, asking for God’s providence, asking for God’s forgiveness, asking for God’s protection, and acknowledging God’s power and glory.

I believe Jesus loves prayers that sound like what He taught. May we follow His example.

MEMORY VERSE

“And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites.” (Matthew 6:5)

QUESTIONS

1. Do you pray to please people, or to please God?   

2. Why not follow Jesus’ caution, and example?

PRAYER TIP

Almighty Father, we are sometimes apt to copy blindly and also be influenced by people around. Please help us to focus on only You, when we pray.

Written by:

BENNY MALM

For:

TESTIMONY DEVOTIONAL

Credits: Psychology Today(“Close Encounters” by Gwendolyn Seidman : https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201812/why-do-we-people-who-are-similar-us)

URGENT CALL

If you don’t know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord and Personal Savior, you need to do that now!

Please visit “The Believer’s Prayer” for guidance.

We will be happy to hear from you through the contact information on that page. God bless you.

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